Between the Lines – Do Your Park

BETWEEN THE LINES

A "better parking" publication. (A blog. It's our blog.)

A Case Study in the Value of Passive Aggressive Parking Shame

Posted by Do Your Park on March 22, 2017.

Are our magnets passive aggressive?

You bet your sweet ass they are, and this gem of find is the perfect example of why the enduring shame of a subtlety placed magnet is almost always better than a face-to-face confrontation. 

Let's set the scene before our vertically-filming voyeurs transport us to the world of parking fail fueled demolition derbies. 

It all started with a poorly parked minivan hanging outside the lines of a spot in what we can only imagine is the neighborhood church's parking lot. Now, a quick slap of a magnet would have done just fine here, allowing one party to walk away, leaving the other with the scathing knowledge that they park like and idiot, but that's just not how things went down.

Instead - Shit. Got. Real. 

Starting with tough talk before jumping to body blows and...

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Blunder in the Bronx

Posted by Do Your Park on March 16, 2017.

If you haven’t already seen this gem of parking failure making its way around the internet, then buckle up, you’re in for a treat.

In today’s episode, the Blunder in the Bronx, we see the side effects when public shaming gets a little too…ehhh, public?

Our video vigilantes, aka the Super Plantano Brothers, capture a women who decided the local bodega was a perfect place to store her early-2000s minivan while she popped inside for a quick snack.

The result? Pure and utter street rage.

Featuring quotable gems such as “It was an accident, you dumbasses! How about you get a f***ing car yourself?” and “I’ll f***ing kill you and your motherf***ing ass,” this clip is proof that, just because you park like an asshole, doesn’t mean you have to be shy about it.

Check out the...

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Full Contact Friday

Posted by Do Your Park on March 10, 2017.

There’s a saying in the racing world that goes something along the lines of “if you ain’t rubbing, you ain’t racing.” Well, that saying has no place in the parking lot, but that didn’t these parkers from trading a little paint.

 

Back it up, back it up, back it up. Perfect. When this modern day Marco Polo gets in the lot, beware, because a bumper kiss is a-comin’. You park like an idiot, good sir. Now peel your bumper off my Honda and get on with your day.

 

You know that little voice in the back of your head that whispers “go for it” when opportunity presents itself?  Sometimes it’s better left ignored. In this parking fail, the offending motorist couldn’t have it easier, and despite coming to...

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Glen Carr: Soldier of (Mis)fortune

Posted by Do Your Park on March 03, 2017.

At Do Your Park, public shaming is our life blood. It’s what gets us out of bed in the morning. It’s what moves us. It’s what makes us rack our brains for unique insults like “turd burper” or “dick nipple.”

With such a commitment to shaming, we’d be remiss if we didn’t occasionally take a minute to spotlight the good work being done out in the streets by men and women like yourself. Today, we have one such asphalt angel. A man who lurks in the shadows, protecting the world from parking fails committed at the highest levels of government.

Ladies and gentlemen, we present Glen Carr: Soldier of (Mis)fortune.

Photo by Tim Elfrink/Miami News Times

Let’s start with the obvious, shall we? A PARKING VIGILANTE WHO’S LAST NAME IS CARR! How cool is that? That’s the...

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Parking Breakdown: Disaster in Big D

Posted by Do Your Park on March 01, 2017.

Every so often, there’s a feat a vehicular misplacement so astonishing it deserves a second – and maybe even third, fourth or fifth – look to fully drink in the terrible parking job you’re witnessing.

Today, we’re bringing you such an occurrence, one that took place in the capitol of big steaks and even bigger trucks— Dallas, Texas.

 Ladies and gentlemen, we present, the Disaster in Big D.

 

We know, there’s a lot to take in here, even more than the 12-inches of stale bread and sweaty bologna our primary offender is shoveling down while this parking atrocity bakes under the hot Texas sun. Bad parking job? Sure, but let’s start with the most obvious offense first.

What in God’s name are they driving?

 

From the look of things, our offender is out for their usual lunch of Sweet Onion...

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The Seven Blunders of the Parking World

Posted by Do Your Park on February 23, 2017.

In the annals of bad parking jobs, seven monumental achievements of douchebag parking jobs stand out among the rest. Bust out your pen and paper, history buffs, and prepare to take some bad parking notes as we dive into the Seven Blunders of the Parking World:

Hanging Dump Truck of Babylon

From antiquity to the modern day, no example of awful parking was more precariously placed than the Hanging Dump Truck of Babylon. How did it get there? Did it ever come down? Can someone please get this guy a bad parking magnet? These are the questions historians will be left asking for decades.

Colossal Douche of Roads

Sometimes, awful parking goes past the realm of art and straight into the world of ruthless professional efficiency. If anyone deserves...

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Tao Te Park: A Path to Parking EnLOTtenment

Posted by Do Your Park on February 22, 2017.

Years ago, when Do Your Park was looking for a way to make its mark on the parking world, we were faced with a choice – crank out some snarky, often offensive, magnets or set up a spiritualistic self-help center aimed at healing the emotional trauma of caused by bad parking. Note that we never would have come up with that sweet doodle shaming fat folks on airplanes if we had gone the way of the eight-fold path, but it’s fun to think about, right?

The first step toward healing is always understanding the problem, so let’s have a gander at our Five Stages of Parking Grief:

  1. Denial, or “Are You F*cking Kidding Me?”

You know the feeling. You’re rolling through the lot when you come upon something that makes you question the very nature of humanity....

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Havin' a laugh over a terrible parking job

Posted by Do Your Park on February 22, 2017.


Apparently the only thing these lads love more than an awful parking job is filming it vertically.  But thats another type of shame for a different day. 

Listen, we're not here saying parallel parking is easy (it is.), but knowing which way your tires turn takes about as much knowledge as a slice of cheese.  How do you go through life without being greeted daily with a parking ticket? Fake it till you make it, they say, but you're not fooling anyone.

Forget bad parking business cards - this clown show called for the local version of the neighborhood watch to step in.  Nothing says "you park like an asshole" more than an entire second story of rowdy lads cheering and jeering at your every move.  And you can tell they're well-versed in insults as they note the "Hefers comin" (3:07).  

After watching for who knows how...

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Our Amazon Expedition

Posted by Do Your Park on February 16, 2017.

Captain’s Log Day 49:

Our expedition into the depths of the Amazonian rainforest has brought catastrophe. Late yesterday evening, the keel of our vessel struck a hallowed out canoe carelessly double parked alongside the river’s banks. We took on water and within minutes the ship had gone under. Our crew swam to shore, but sadly, Dave from HR was claimed by the river.
Dave drowns, oh well...

He was always a bit of a downer, and butterfingered our last pack of smokes overboard - so all in all, not a huge loss. As we ventured into the jungle, looking for shelter, the familiar sounds of packing tape and folding cardboard echoed through the thick trees.
Natives are strangely efficient...

The natives, we would later learn, have a cultural disposition to...
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